TEKNOLGY FER CONTRY FOLKS
 
   LOG ON:             Making a wood stove hotter.
   LOG OFF:            Don't add no more wood.
   DOWNLOAD:      Gettin the farwood off the truk.
   UPLOAD:             When ya'll pile into the truk ta go ta church.
   MEGA HERTZ:    When yer not keerful gettin' the farwood.
   FLOPPY DISC:  Whatcha git from tryin' to carry too much firwood.
   RAM:                    That thar thing whut splits the farwood.
   DELETE:             Movie-stars an rich folk.
   HARD DRIVE:    Gettin home in the winter time.
   PROMPT:             Whut the mail ain't in the winter time.
   WINDOWS:       Whut to shut when it's cold outside.
   SCREEN:             Whut to shut when it's blak fly season.
   BYTE:                    Whut dem horse flys do.
   CHIP:                    Munchies fer the TV.
   MICRO CHIP:         Whut's left in the bottom of the munchie bag.
   MODEM:              Whacha did to the hey fields.
   DOT MATRIX:   Old Dan Matrix's wife.
   LAP TOP:                Whar the kitty sleeps.
   KEYBOARD:          Whar ya hang the ole keys.
   SOFTWARE:    Them dumb plastic forks and knifs.
   HARDWARE:    What you buy at the tool store.
   TYPING:              When yer sortin' out males from females in alitter.
 
   MOUSE:                  What eats the grain in the barn.
   MAIN FRAME:   Holds up the barn ruf.
   ENTER:               Northerner talk fer, C'Mon in Y'all.
   RANDOM ACCESS MEMORY:  When ya cain't 'member whut ya paid fer
                                            the hayrake when yer wife asks.
 
   FAX:               What Dot Matrix and Lulabelle Hiemerman shars with
                           everybody when they visit - They knows some fax
                           abut pert near everyone.
   FEEDBACK:     When ya cain't keep yer dinner down.
   MOUSE PAD:    That hippie talk fer the rat hole.
   FILES:                  What'cha sharpen the ax blade with.
   PRINTING:         When the cat leaves dirty paw tracks on the hood of
                                     pick-up.
   LASER:             A fool dog that won't work.
   SATELLITE:    A saddle that ain't heavy.
   HARD (er) DRIVE:  Haulin' a big load of manure over teh hill to
                                      fertilize the field.
   INTERNET:     Whut ya want the fish down at the pond to do.
   THE WEB:      Wut gets stuck in yer hair an on yer clothes when ya walk
                           through granny's attic.