Am I the first girl you've kissed?"  "Might be - your face looks familiar."

They lived happily until they got married.

"Why did you hit your wife with a chair?"   "I couldn't lift the table."

My friend has a fine watch dog. At any suspicious noise he wakes the dog and the dog begins to bark.

We have a quiet home life. I don't speak to her and she doesn't speak to me.

"Where did you get those big eyes?"    "They came with the face."

"Are you familiar with Grace Smith ?"    "I tried it once and she slapped my face."

"What do use for washing dishes?"    "Oh, I tried many things but found my  husband best."

"How is your wife getting along on her reducing diet?"    "Fine. She vanished last night."

They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets to speak.

It was love at first sight. Then I took a  second look.

There are two kinds of secrets : one is  not worth keeping and the other is too  good to keep.

My wife is always talking about a trip to Europe.   I have no objections - I let her talk.

Memory is what tells a man his wedding  anniversary was yesterday.

There are two kinds of friends : those who are around you when you need them,and those who are around when they  need you.

A modern artist is one who throws paint on canvas, wipes it off with a cloth and  sells the cloth.

"What did one ghost say to another?"   "Do you believe in people?"

"Were you in Paris on your vacation?"    "I don't know my husband got the tickets."