Beware Of The Following Viruses:
 

•      Ellen Degeneres virus........Your IBM suddenly claims it's a MAC.
•      Monica Lewinsky virus........Sucks all the memory out of your computer.
•      Titanic virus................Makes your whole computer go down.
•      Disney virus.................Everything in the computer goes Goofy.
•      Mike Tyson virus.............Quits after one byte.
•      Prozac virus.................Screws up your RAM but your processor doesn't care.
•      Lorena Bobbit virus..........Turns your hard disk into a 3.5 inch floppy.
•      Woody Allen virus............By-passes the motherboard and turns daughter card.
•      Joey Buttafuoco virus........Only attacks minor files.
•      Spice Girl virus.............Has no real function, but makes a pretty desktop.
•      Ronald Reagan virus..........Saves your data, but forgets where it is stored.
•      Dr. Kevorkian virus..........Searches your hard drive for old files and deletes them.
•      Oprah Winfrey virus..........Your 200MB hard drive suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands to 300MB.
•      ATT virus....................Every 3 minutes it tells you what great service you are getting.
•      MCI virus....................Every 3 minutes it reminds you that you're paying too much for the ATT virus.
•      Arnold Schwarzenegger virus..Terminates and stays resident...It'll be back.
•      Viagra virus.................Expands your hard drive while putting too much pressure on your zip drive.

...Then there is the Clinton PC. It has a six inch hard drive and no memory.