Computer Viruses
Beware Of The Following Viruses:
-
Ellen Degeneres virus........Your IBM suddenly
claims it's a MAC.
-
Monica Lewinsky virus........Sucks all the memory
out of your computer.
-
Titanic virus................Makes your whole
computer go down.
-
Disney virus.................Everything in the
computer goes Goofy.
-
Mike Tyson virus.............Quits after one byte.
-
Prozac virus.................Screws up your RAM
but your processor doesn't care.
-
Lorena Bobbit virus..........Turns your hard disk
into a 3.5 inch floppy.
-
Woody Allen virus............By-passes the motherboard
and turns daughter card.
-
Joey Buttafuoco virus........Only attacks minor
files.
-
Spice Girl virus.............Has no real function,
but makes a pretty desktop.
-
Ronald Reagan virus..........Saves your data,
but forgets where it is stored.
-
Dr. Kevorkian virus..........Searches your hard
drive for old files and deletes them.
-
Oprah Winfrey virus..........Your 200MB hard drive
suddenly shrinks to 80MB, and then slowly expands to 300MB.
-
ATT virus....................Every 3 minutes it
tells you what great service you are getting.
-
MCI virus....................Every 3 minutes it
reminds you that you're paying too much for the ATT virus.
-
Arnold Schwarzenegger virus..Terminates and stays
resident...It'll be back.
-
Viagra virus.................Expands your hard
drive while putting too much pressure on your zip drive.
...Then there is the Clinton PC. It has a six inch hard drive and
no memory.

